We’ve all been in an argument with someone more concerned with winning the argument than with being truthful and accurate. Pursuing being right is often a Pyhrric victory. Today I want to look at this tendency and some ways we can overcome it by aiming to be less wrong in our thinking.
What does being less wrong mean?
Keep your identity small.
Don’t let “being right” be your identity. As legendary investor Paul Graham observed and advises, the fewer labels you put on your identity, the less influence those things have on your self-worth. As Graham explains it, the reason topics like politics and religion are so rife with tension – and therefore generally avoided in polite conversation, is these areas are tied so closely with identity. He writes: “I think what religion and politics have in common is that they become part of people’s identity, and people can never have a fruitful argument about something that’s part of their identity. By definition they’re partisan.”
If “being right” is part of our identities, we become afraid to be wrong, and live in fear of being seen as a failure. It’s the time in third grade you ventured an answer to the problem on the blackboard and ended up being wrong in public. It’s the immediate sense of embarrassment for being wrong, for “failing,” at something new. In reality, not fully grasping a concept isn’t a failure. It’s simply an indication of progress to be made, that you still have something to learn.
Graham continues: “The most intriguing thing about this theory, if it’s right, is that it explains not merely which kinds of discussions to avoid, but how to have better ideas. If people can’t think clearly about anything that has become part of their identity, then all other things being equal, the best plan is to let as few things into your identity as possible.” (emphasis mine)
We don’t think clearly when we are worried about appearing a certain way. If you remove the concept of being “someone who is usually right” from your identity, submitting an incorrect answer won’t injure your sense of identity. If, instead, you embody being “a person who works to be less wrong,” your identity remains intact and you benefit by progressing in your learning.
You can’t worry about preserving your identity as “someone who is usually right,” and truly let down your guard to learn at the same time. We can’t explore and hedge at the same time. If we are to learn, we must humble ourselves, admit we don’t know what is ahead, and focus on learning – on reducing our inaccuracies – and not on our appearances.
The aim of learning is not to be right. The aim of learning is consistent, lifelong improvement. This means that we will never arrive at a permanent home of “being right.” The process of learning means we will encounter unfamiliar facts or processes. It means we will have to try new things.
Understand being right is a temporary state.
If I aim to be right, my goal is small and temporary at best. The “right” position is entirely dependent on context. Further, one can only succeed so far as they already know the material. Rather, our aim should be to clarify our understanding of the topic and be less wrong. Constantly aiming to be right is like chasing the wind; you will only succeed in fits and starts, never truly conquering it. Why not choose a more sustainable position? Why not aim to learn more and end each day less wrong on a particular topic? Winston Churchill asked himself every night, “What have I learned this day?” which is not only itself a great habit, but a great way to combat digging one’s heels to be right and the subsequent stagnation it can induce. Instead of aiming for something destined to fail, choose to steadily eliminate inaccurate or outdated thinking in yourself.
Being less wrong is something each of us can achieve every single day; being right is staking a claim to sinking sand. As the unknown unknowns become known unknowns, and as we learn more of those known unknowns, more and more facts become obsolete. Choosing to be less wrong anticipates and integrates this engaging phenomenon.
Facts can expire.
Facts do change over time; what was true in 1820 or 1960 isn’t necessarily true today. To some degree, we are aware of this. We expect science to reveal healthier ways of living and yield more effective interventions for disease. We expect technology to save us time and energy on more and more mundane tasks. In other words, we expect previous facts to no longer be accurate as we learn more.
We must be prepared to update the way we think in light of new information. Our biases and prejudices, once undetected but now revealing errors in thought, must be corrected. Updating our opinions in light of new information is not “caving” or “flip-flopping.” On the contrary, it is the only reasonable action to take. It is the active choice to be less wrong and more accurate. It’s the difference between choosing ignorance simply because you chose it, and choosing to be aware and informed of what is going on around you.
Humility enables learning.
“There are things I don’t know,” is a statement of humility. As we discussed in How the Scientific Method Applies to Your Ego, intellectual humility goes a long way in reducing the friction of opinion in the search for accurate ideas or facts. The simple acknowledgment that we don’t know all represents a powerful change in mindset, from a closed mind to one curious and open to new information. More importantly, this shift can take us from feigned accuracy to objective accuracy. This quality is sorely needed in two key areas today; academia and our personal conversations online. When professors and laypeople alike are less worried and protective of their egos, when the common goal is to uncover truth and be less wrong, the result is more fruitful discussion. There is less confrontation and more exploration. We need scientists exploring space, psychologists forming a greater understanding of the human brain, and engineers exploring faster ways of building adequate housing for our cities. We need fewer people chasing being right, and more working collaboratively to make our science more accurate and improve the lives of more people.
By asking “How can I be less wrong about this concept?” we open up a world of creative possibility, instead of shutting down dialog.
How to be Less Wrong
Search for evidence to the contrary.
An excellent way to be less wrong is looking for evidence to disprove your position. If you think A is correct and B is incorrect, look for evidence showing B to be accurate. How convincing is that evidence? In what ways might B be true? In which ways might A be true? Finding evidence which contradicts your position can help nudge you in a less wrong direction by shearing off outdated or inaccurate opinions.
When faced with an idea you think is false, ask yourself, “How might this be true?” In doing so, you’ll discover more about opinions and perception, while also developing empathy for those who think or live differently than you.
Practice failing
By practicing failure you reduce the chances to make a disastrous decision the next time failure does show up. When you practice how to respond when things go wrong, you are more prepared and able to respond to the next curve ball.
Additionally, being acquainted with failure helps in the quest to remove “being right” from your identity. By intentionally failing at a specific task, you remove the sting of failure or embarrassment. This past year, Tim Ferriss hosted a series of comfort challenges designed to get participants more comfortable with uncomfortable social situations. The challenges include giving criticism to a colleague and declining all requests. These actions aren’t harmful or painful, but they do elicit social responses, like odd glances or off-hand comments, which can make us uncomfortable. The less value we place on feeling uncomfortable, the more easily we are able to push beyond that comfort zone to achieve greater things.
The aim to be less wrong is the embodiment of a sincere desire to learn and grow continually. Aiming to be less wrong is an excellent daily practice and one which will continue to yield fruit for decades. Compliment with a journaling habit, your gratitude practice, and make it part of your daily routine.
