Annual Review, Year Four

This past year was full of change.

I moved to a new country, which meant finding and settling into a new house and new routines; putting together a new office; learning a new language; and adjusting to my husband’s new job and schedule. It was so much change, and even though I’d given myself a six month adjustment window, that was not enough time. One reason adjusting took longer was our daily schedule changed several times through the year with no warning (gotta love reshuffling work schedules). Another is the fact our routine here is entirely different from what we had been used to for years in the States. Getting groceries, the amount of daylight available, traveling, working out, doing laundry; every aspect of life here is slightly different and it all combined for massive changes in our weekly routine.

We also travel more frequently here than we did in the States. There are many more holidays and long weekends scheduled here, so we try to take advantage of them and travel around to see as much as we can. This means I don’t rely on weekends to catch up on reading or writing, which brings a level of focus to my work during the week. In many ways, it makes the weekdays more intense, as I know I only have a set number of hours to work on pieces. It amounts to an evolution in my writing career, for sure.

Looking Back on Year Four

My favorite music this past year has been Baroque instrumental, along with Dvorak and Rachmaninoff’s bodies of work. I’ve rediscovered the thrill and beauty of classical (and classical -adjacent) music. I put on a classical selection to work each morning, whether reading or writing, and I’ve found they make for the perfect non-intrusive, but inspiring background music.

My favorite topic of study has been on reading itself and the ways our attention wanes with television. Neil Postman’s book, Amusing Ourselves to Death, along with Jacobs’ meditation on reading in the modern era, The Pleasures of Reading in an Age of Distraction, really excited me, and have led me to take a stronger stance against video as possessing any “educational” value. My favorite fiction read over the past year was Dracula, Emma, and Helen DeWitt’s new short story, The English Understand Wool. All are based in Europe, all detail witty and subtle deceptions, all have their humorous parts, and all are (or are soon to be) considered classics. Outside of my reading on attention, my favorite non-fiction title was Barry Lopez’s Of Wolves and Men, because of the varied and thoughtful sources he brought together.

I have two favorite travel memories from this year; the first is our second trip to Würzburg this summer, when I had an entire day to wander around the city and just enjoyed being outside in a warm German summer. I certainly enjoyed spending a couple of hours in the Residenz, the palace of the Prince-Bishops who ruled that part of Bavaria, by myself, admiring frescoes from multiple angles and thinking about what the artists’ work was saying. The second is our trip to Belgium, when we basically wandered around Brussels for one day, then around Ypres for the next two. That trip was filled with architecture, military history, and museums, along with hours of wandering old streets. I suppose I just like seeing and walking around these centuries-old places, and learning as much as I can about those before and around me. My favorite photos have also been taken on these travels around Germany; flowers growing, architecture, fun random things for sale. Just documenting the places we go and the things we end up doing. I also enjoy taking photos of what I cook, even if they turn out too crappy to post anywhere.

My favorite memories from 2022 include video-chatting with family, travel, trying new breads and pastries from the corner bakery, struggling to learn German, birdwatching with my husband (we have seen even more varieties this spring!), and getting our office set up.

The Highs and Lows

The previous year was a marathon. It was terribly challenging, but supremely rewarding. From the end of 2021 when we were waiting to get a final moving date, to trying to leave the States at the beginning of 2022, in the midst of coronavirus and an ice storm, arriving in Germany and living in a hotel for a month, then finally, landing in a house and encountering all the hiccups inherent to moving, as well as moving internationally, topped off with needing to learn the local language; I knew the first half of 2022 would be full of change and stress. There is simply no way to fully prepare for the reality, though.

The reality was that most of 2022 was just trying to figure things out and carve out as much space as I could for a decent and healthy routine. On one hand, I was exhausted and stressed for weeks on end, which resulted in very little being published for months. On the other hand, I learned an incredible amount very quickly and have grown comfortable living here, which is incredible. The most challenging part of the year was remaining calm and patient with the whole process.

The most effortless part of the year was getting back into a workout routine, which is sort of odd. I managed to transition right back into it, after a few months off, and I’m enjoying the new programming focusing on lifting weights and conditioning. I have always enjoyed the mental and physical challenge of working out, but it relieves so much stress I didn’t fully appreciate until I started back with regular workouts over the summer.

I am annoyed by my low output, but I also remember it took two months to even get my desk setup with my computer and an Internet connection. We had to find a house and unpack. While I have mixed feelings about the past year overall, I am overwhelmingly thrilled to be here and settled, proud of my husband and I for successfully navigating this crazy year, and am excited to get back to what I love, which is writing about what I’m learning.

My top three wins for the year are entering an essay competition; sending all twelve editions of my monthly reading recommendations newsletter; and publishing my Five for Friday link posts each week. I’m proud of myself for learning to adjust and get back to work in the midst of all the craziness. I also received several generous emails and notes from fellow readers and writers, which were also highlights of this year.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

All of that to say, writing over the past year was chaotic. In 2022 I published the fewest essays I have since I started the website, with only four essays published in the first half of the year. The curious thing is, I actually wrote more words daily than the previous year. I wrote drafts every single week, and averaged 1100 words each day. The bottleneck was editing. I kept putting off editing for a more focused time and it piled up into an insurmountable backlog. Figuring out a solution to my editing delays was a major frustration for most of the year, but has been pretty much solved now.

In September that I began setting time aside specifically for editing. I took an immersion approach, and decided to just pick something and commit the first session of my morning writing to editing. It becomes much less of a mental hurdle when you do it first-thing every morning. The shift in my writing and the number of pieces I was able to produce from September on were the evidence that while setting aside “writing” time is great, what I was really lacking was focus. Once I brought more focus to that time, I was able to publish more reliably. Inspired by Joan Didion’s similar editing routine, that change has served me well. (Joan began each day looking over the previous day’s writing and rewriting a portion of it to get her mind in the right place to continue.)

I do feel like I’ve gotten back into a place where I can reliably read, write, edit, and publish, which makes me feel much more like myself. One of my proudest moments last year came at the end of the year, by drafting and writing an essay competition entry in just three weeks, delivering it a day early because I was happy with it and didn’t want to spend any more time on it. Getting that essay edited down to under one thousand words, from 1300 had felt impossible, and finally hitting that word count was such a reward in itself. Then, a few weeks later, I learned the essay earned honorable mention! That was just the cherry on top, a much needed boost after a tough year – I was proud of myself for sticking with it and focusing on edits even when it was difficult. It was totally worth the effort, and I showed myself a new level of attention and intensity I want to continue in my writing.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned this year is I can accomplish more than I thought when I really focus and just get the work done. I’ve also learned the quality of my writing doesn’t fall off as much as I’d thought when I have to force writing into small sessions here and there. For me, it really comes down to having a plan. When I know where I’m going, I can typically make it happen rather quickly. Open-ended ideas trip me up and wind up bloated and time-consuming messes; this has caused me to be more focused from the outset on specific writing ideas.

There are a few things about my work I want to change. I enjoy the direction I’m going; I enjoy studying the classics and giving my readings of literature. I started incorporating more biographical stories over the past two years, and I plan to continue increasing those stories. As I mentioned, I’m also fascinated by how reading and literacy affect attention and what that means in our video-saturated culture, so that will continue to be a theme. Finally, moving to Germany, the land of Goethe and Nietzsche, is obviously inspiring from a philosophical perspective. I want to explore German thought in particular over the next two years.

There are a few things I will change about my work habits; the first is making the transfer of book notes into Evernote easier to keep up with. I’ll type up, or review, or both, notes twice a week. The second habit is tackling editing sooner, not later. I’m already doing this by starting my day with editing the previous day’s work. Doing rewrites every morning really takes the intimidation and mystery out of editing. Finally, I’m going to continue to streamline my reading interests so I can write in more detail about most of what I read.

The major changes in writing this year have been setting aside time specifically for editing; making sure my planned essay ideas are specific; and scheduling monthly planning sessions to make sure the longer-term plans stay on track. Taking care of those habits will allow me to reach my goal of publishing forty essays this year.

The Final Note

One unexpected positive change brought by moving to a new country is that my new surroundings have sparked so many new ideas, I don’t really have a need for my “brainstorming” time I’d previously scheduled each week. I’ve consistently filled paper notebooks and digital pages with ideas since we arrived. Instead of trying to come up with ideas, I have to whittle them down and choose the best and most specific ideas. This is a great “problem” to have, no doubt, but it is a significant shift in my creative life. Between needing to focus on time for editing and focus on choosing the most interesting ideas, it becomes quite obvious why my theme for this fifth year is “Focus.” It is simply what I’ll be practicing for this season of life.

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